Sophie

Sophie is now 3 and a half months old. She was born on February 18th, weighing 3.05 kilos and gained a perfect 10 on her APGAR score after 1 and 5 minutes...
The pregnancy went well until the final month when my blood pressure shot up and refused to go back to normal. After a couple of weeks, with swelling and protein in my urine, the gynocologist decided that we were dealing with pre-eclampsia and that I would have to be induced 2 weeks early. At that point, our little Sophie took the initiative, my waters broke and, following a short induction, she was born. I will expand on my horrific hospital experience another time...

She has already grown to over 60 cms, and now weight 6.5 kilos - so is perfectly on track for her age. She has wispy blond hair, bright blue eyes like her mum and the cheekiest toothless grin you can imagine. Recently she has started giggling when you tickle her and reaching out for her toys. When she can't quite get her little hand around them, she gets really annoyed and demonstrates her feisty little attitude by squealing and turning purple. Insomma, she is absolutely adorable. More perfect even than I had imagined through those long pregnant months!

We have moved back into the city and are currently surrounded by boxes, workmen and dust but Sophie is a real trouper and has slotted into the family like she was always here. As tough as these past 3 months have been (and at times they have been TOUGH!), we just can't imagine life without her...

News!

I know I haven't written for ages, but we no longer have internet at home, work is super busy, we are looking for a new house (loooooong story!), Luca has a new business in the pipeline (even longer story) and, obviously I am running around like a headless chicken trying to organize pregnancy stuff, working and generally keeping all of the balls in the air!
The big news is that we had the morphological scan at 20 weeks, everything looks to be fine and we found out that It is a She!! So now we're in full-blown pink mode and have pretty much decided on the name, except that we can't decide on the spelling. She'll be called either Sophie or Sofie, pronounced the French way with the accent on the "eee". Suggestions are gratefully accepted!!
The other big news is to do with Luca's work, but we'll keep it for another time since it's almost 7 on a Friday night and I'd really like to get out of this office!!!!
All is well, in any case and in case anyone was wondering, I've reached almost 23 weeks and have already put on 10 kilos. That's despite ignoring my constant raving hunger for 70% of the time! Seriously....

Happy weekend everyone!

Brain fog

I’ve started to become a bad employee. I’m not saying that now I’m pregnant, nothing else in the world exists or matters, and that insignificant things like a career are no longer of any interest…..but one way or another I find myself really struggling to place the same emphasis on monthly reports, spending figures and the difference between a dot and a comma. It’s as if the activities that I found mildly boring before have developed a dullness of galactic proportions and, not only can I just not bring myself to check the facts and figures twice, but I almost don’t care whether or not they’re correct. Sounds awful doesn’t it? I honestly don’t think it’s arrogance – like Christina Applegate and her “I’m making a person; what’s your freakin super-power?” t-shirt. It just seems like my brain doesn’t want to function like it used to and a few hundred thousand euros difference here and there in the end of month invoicing report is nothing in comparison with episiotomies, rectal swabs and incontinence. These are just 3 of the potential future delights that I’ve been introduced to in recent weeks – and I thought all I had to do was grow and then push a small person out of me!
I am well aware that this is the job which will keep me in (initially 80%, then 30% of) the lifestyle that I’m accustomed to, months after I’ve forgotten how to update an Access database, and I’m well aware that I should appreciate it, give it my all, prove the chauvinists wrong, and charge through these final months before mat leave with even more determination than before, leaving my substitute with some very big shoes to fill….. In reality all I want to do is take a nap. No, actually that’s not quite true. Maybe a big part of my new-found ‘laziness’ (for want of a better word) is to do with the fact that I desperately want and need a lifestyle change. I can’t and won’t be one of those mothers who leaves their 9 month old at the all-day nursery, from 8am to 6pm, and learns about their growth and progress from strangers. Not to mention the 600/700 euro per month cost… I’ve been saying it for a while now, but this multi-national / corporate / commuter Milan deal is just not Long Term Me. I don’t get enthused about breaking deals, I’m not ecstatic when a new contract is signed and I don’t thrive on the 5 countries in 5 days sort of business travel that many of my colleagues seem to treat as oxygen. It was fine for a while – maybe even for less time than I’ve actually done it, but now that my life is slowly changing, I feel that my physical capability in this world has a use-by date, and it’s getting closer and closer by the day.
So, what to do? This is not the land of opportunity, by any means. Here, if you have a permanent contract, above-average salary and company car, you’re insane to turn your back on it unless you win the national lottery. So maybe I’m crazy…. Or maybe it’s the hormones… Or maybe it’s just time to re-evaluate. All I know is, I really need to get my act together, stop falling asleep at my desk and maybe put a little more enthusiasm into it. I was determined never to hear a colleague or client say “now she’s pregnant she no longer makes an effort” and had intended to work my butt off til the end of the year (insert butt size joke here), but somehow I’m losing my grip. I almost feel like I can’t be bothered to go home, lie on the sofa and watch X-factor. I almost can’t be bothered to keep writing this post….
No, seriously, my mind has gone blank. I have nothing more to say. I’m sure I was meant to do something / send someone something / finish something before leaving the office but it’s completely gone. Oh well, I doubt it was anything important anyway….

Your money or your life!

I’m not very lucky when it comes to the public health system. The morning after I found out I was pregnant, my (former, rude, unprofessional) doctor went on holiday for 2 weeks, and I was left searching the countryside for a substitute doctor who turned out to be a smelly old man in a dirty, fly-invested office. Having changed doctors (go me for being proactive and not putting up with the stronza!), I called my new one to book an appointment so that I can pick up the referrals I need from my gynecologist and go get my 16-week blood work done at the lab (it’s actually more complicated than it sounds, believe it or not!) and what did I find? She was literally just leaving in the car for a 2-week holiday! Over a bad connection she gave me the name of a substitute but I didn’t recognize the name of the village he’s meant to be in, nor did I find it on Google maps! As I said, I’m not very lucky with these things…
Having procrastinated over what to do for the best part of a week, I started to worry that my scary gyno might yell at me for not getting the tests done right away, so I went to the blood lab to see whether I could get them done anyway (in my experience when it comes to the referral, you’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t – as in you pay either way!). I was told that with the referral I would pay 37 euros, and without it 39. Not surprising given the way things are run around here, but to be honest there seems to be no consistency WHATSOEVER in what you pay for, when and why.
Originally I was under the impression that pregnant women in Italy were exempt from all payments, with the exception of certain tests, and in fact the guy at the blood lab sort of confirmed this for me – HOWEVER, you still pay for each individual referral (“ticket”), and the costs depends partly on which region you are in, and partly what the ticket is for. I was under the impression that the ticket had a standard price of 17 euros, or thereabouts. In fact, for my last round I had 5 tickets at a cost of 100 euros, as I had to do a number of different tests and apparently there is a limit of 8 tests on a single ticket. This time around I had no ticket, but had I made it that far, the cost would have been 37. With only 6 tests, this should have been one single ticket, so how come so much? Confused?? Me too!
I hear that women in other parts of Italy pay anything from nothing to 20 euros per round of tests, whereas most people I know in this part of the world (Lombardia) tend to pay up to 100 euros, like me. Is this a geographical lottery or is it yet another example of Italy being so disorganized that no one really understands the system and so each local authority implements it own version of the truth in the hope that nobody notices? It’s true that I have chosen a fairly pricey private gyno (although taking into account the fact that the waiting lists for check-ups in the public system are so long, my kid would be starting school before I get to the second ultrasound…) but for the rest of it, I seem to be paying out even in the supposedly “subsidized” part of the process. I consider myself fairly well-informed, am totally integrated and fluent in the language, so am not a victim of the lack of cultural understanding. There just doesn’t seem to be a way around it. Medical expenses so far (including the standard gyno appointments) have set me back over 500 euros, and I’m in week 17! It feels like I have a long and costly road ahead of me!!!

The weighting game

When talking about pregnancy with English friends, and the topic of food comes up, the general tone is something along these lines: “Oh, isn’t it great that you now have an excuse to eat what you like?!” and “Make the most of it – you can lose the weight when the baby is born….”. Take that conversation to Italy and you’re more likely to hear “How’s your weight going? Are you managing to keep it low? No pastries for you now!!”
Pregnant Italians are weight obsessed. Their friends are obsessed on their behalf. Worst of all, your average (already slightly intimidating) gynecologist turns into a fully paid up member of the Nazi party when it comes to diet and nutrition; and when you already weighed 5 kilos over your ideal before the pregnancy….. well, you can imagine.
Don’t get me wrong – I am a strong believer in healthy eating and always have been. I completely understand the importance of good nutrition for your unborn child and I am well aware of the complications brought about by rapid weight gain in pregnancy (pre-eclampsia and diabetes being the big scary ones) but sometimes I can’t help wishing I wasn’t up there in Northern Europe where a pregnant lady eating a mars bar isn’t considered an obscene act in a public place, and the occasional treat (“it’s not for me, it’s for baby”) is perfectly normal, everyday behavior.
My gyno is great – very well qualified, very thorough, very professional. However, she also has that Italian way which makes you think that she might well go home and stick pins in a voodoo doll of you if you don’t do exactly what she says. Her latest offering to me was “If you don’t regulate your own food, I’ll put you on a diet and complicate your life in a way you can only imagine”. My protestations that I’m actually eating really well and being careful already were brushed aside. “Well, if you don’t take my advice you’ll become a diabetic and then you’ll be sorry”. Hoooooly!!! “Eat only fish, meat, steamed vegetables and fruit at meals” was her next piece of advice. “Avoid carbohydrates, sugar, fat, and too many dairy products”.
Hang on a second. I’m 170 cms tall (5’6’’ )and weighed 67 kilos pre-pregnancy (147lbs or 10.7 stone). I am now 72 kilos at four months of pregnancy ( 158lbs or 11.4 stone) weight. I’m no sugarplum fairy, but I’m not obese either. My usual dress size is 14-16 UK (the national average) and I have a generally healthy diet. I put on weight at the start of my pregnancy because the only things I could keep down were crisps and cheese, but we’re well passed that now.. I am actually keeping a food diary of everything that passes my lips, which reads like an anorexic’s shopping list: 11am – ½ a banana. 1pm – small pack of soia crackers. 3pm – 1 pear. And here I was thinking I would be eating for two!!
So, there we are. All is well so far – baby growing nicely, blood tests regular, diet boring. Assuming all goes well (facciamo sempre le corna)…. in 5 months from now I will mostly be drinking tea and eating donuts – just because nobody will be able to stop me!

Outed!!!

If you've come over from Life, Lavoro and Luca..... Welcome!!!
If you've come from somewhere else, I'd like to know how the heck you found me....

Will be updating soon when I can get the pregnancy brain back in gear. In the meantime here's a pic of the little one (very little at 6 cm!!)

A presto!

A costly business

Everyone knows that bringing a child into the world is an expensive business – first you have to furnish the nursery, then you have to keep it in clothes, food, shelter and entertainment for the next twenty years or so, not to mention childcare costs, holidays, education and medical bills. These are all of the “obvious” expenses that most people consider when planning to start a family, but if you live somewhere like Italy, you also have to budget for what is likely to be a costly (not to mention stressful and bureaucratic) pregnancy.
Where I come from (the UK), healthcare is free. And that means totally free of charge. You can go to your doctor, visit a specialist, get your blood tests done, see a nurse, spend time in hospital, have an operation and recuperate all without spending a penny from your own pocket. Yes I know that the NHS has terrible difficulties, that hospitals are full of evil “super bugs”, waiting to finish you off just when you were starting to feel better, that there are serious staff shortages, and that in parts of central London, entire wards are made up of patients, doctors and nurses who speak little or no English. I am not denying or ignoring these issues, I am simply stating that, whilst there are very many negatives, the one BIG positive is that the National Health Service in the UK is FREE. Italy, in theory, has an assisted healthcare system, which pretends to run along the lines of the UK service, but in reality falls at the first hurdle, simply as a result of being physically located in what must be the most bureaucratic, disorganized, politically corrupt nation on the planet. So, when you go to the hospital to get your “free” blood tests, you are told that actually you have to pay a minimum of 35 euros for each “referral” provided by your doctor to get the test done – as a sort of charge to keep the state workers in their comfy seats from 10 til 2 everyday. Then you discover that, since your doctor was incompetent and wrote out 3 referrals when she could have stuck with 1, the cost of the blood tests will be 100 euros, not 35. And it is following this pattern that my 10 week pregnancy so far has cost me a grand total of 342 euros, with an estimated 300 to spend over the next two months.
A trip to the pharmacy for multi-vitamins and a pair of elasticated sea bands for my nausea the other day cost 30 euros (15 per product) and I couldn’t even claim the tax back on them as they are not considered to be “medication”. I called the local hospital to book an appointment for my morphological ultrasound in October (this was in mid-July) and was told that they couldn’t fit me in before January, and that I should try the ultrasound clinic down the road as they “always have some space”. Yep, because they charge 200 euros for the privilege! What can I say? It doesn’t start with cribs and nappies and cutesy outfits…. Here at least it starts from the moment you miss your period and find yourself parting with 18 euros for a digital pregnancy testing kit as the pharmacy has run out of the traditional kind and is the only place open for 20 kilometers, it being Sunday and all that…. Ah the joys of pregnancy in Italy!